Originally published November 22, 2022. Last updated September 2026.
How Not To F*ck Up Your Life: Holiday Edition (Part 1)
The holidays can tell you a lot about a relationship. Who gets invited, how you handle each other’s families, and whether you respect family traditions can reveal quite a bit about how seriously two people see their future together.
Should Your Partner Invite You Home for the Holidays?
There is no absolute right or wrong answer, but what you decide and how your partner responds can tell you something about the relationship.
If a relationship is becoming serious, being included in important family events often represents another level of commitment. That does not mean every couple needs to spend every holiday together, but it is worth talking openly about what the invitation or lack of one means to each of you.
Does a Holiday Invitation Mean the Relationship Is Serious?
If someone sees a future with you, there is a good chance they will eventually want you involved in important parts of their family life.
How Should You Act With Your Partner’s Family?
Save this one before heading to a holiday event with your partner.
Be yourself, but remember that meeting someone’s family is not the time to prove a point, dominate a conversation, or challenge every family tradition. Pay attention, be respectful, and let your partner help you understand the dynamics.
Respect the Rules of the House
Even if their family does things differently than yours, respect the rules of the house.
Holiday disagreements are often less about the turkey and more about expectations, loyalty, boundaries, and family traditions. Talk about those expectations before you arrive rather than arguing about them in the driveway.
About Dr. Justin D’Arienzo
I am Dr. Justin D’Arienzo, Psy.D., MSCP, ABPP, a board-certified clinical psychologist, relationship expert, author, and media commentator who has worked with couples and families for more than two decades. I also have advanced postdoctoral training in clinical psychopharmacology and medical psychology, giving me a broader understanding of how medications, sleep, hormones, medical conditions, and other biological factors can affect mood, behavior, sexuality, and relationships.
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