Navigating Bohannon’s Six Stages of Divorce: A Psychologist’s Guide to a Smoother Transition

Posted by: Dr. Justin D'Arienzo, Psy.D., ABPP

A Psychologist’s Guide to a Smoother Divorce Transition

As a clinical and forensic psychologist who has worked with hundreds of divorcing families over the last 20 years, I’ve seen firsthand how divorce isn’t just one event. It is a process. Sociologist, Paul Bohannon, outlined six stages of divorce that people typically navigate, each presenting unique challenges and opportunities for growth. Understanding these stages can help individuals make the transition more manageable and less traumatic, especially when supported by professional resources like our Online High Conflict Divorce Course and Online Parent Education and Family Stabilization Divorce Courses (Florida, Texas, Georgia).

1. Emotional Divorce

This stage often begins long before legal papers are filed. One or both partners emotionally detach from the relationship, experiencing resentment, loneliness, or betrayal. Couples may benefit from working with a psychologist, therapist, or counselor with experience working with divorced couples to process grief, build resilience, and develop emotional regulation strategies.

2. Legal Divorce

This phase involves formal separation and legal proceedings. Conflict can peak here, especially in custody battles. A psychologist can support clients through mediation, serve as a parenting coordinator, or serving as a personal or legal consultant working with you and/or your attorney to ensure you are operating in the best interest of your children and taking care of yourself.

3. Economic Divorce

Dividing assets and adjusting to new financial realities can feel overwhelming. Research shows that financial stress during divorce is correlated with increased anxiety and depression (Amato, 2010). Psychologists can work with individuals to reduce cognitive distortions related to scarcity and help them regain a sense of control. Remember that most people eventually land on their feed post divorce.

4. Co-Parental Divorce

Deciding custody and parenting roles post-divorce often becomes a flashpoint for conflict. According to Kelly & Emery (2003), cooperative co-parenting is one of the strongest predictors of child adjustment post-divorce. An experienced psychologist helps parents develop a child-centered approach to custody and communication.

5. Community Divorce

This stage involves redefining your role in social networks, often facing judgment or exclusion. Suddenly, you loose your friends or family that were connected to your spouse. Certainly, this is isolating and overwhelming. Understanding that it is not always about taking sides, but about other relationship dynamics is important. Therapy can help individuals rebuild their identity and establish a new support system. Group therapy or social skills workshops can be especially effective here too so you can get out there and create a new network.

6. Psychic Divorce

Finally, psychic divorce is the internal process of letting go. reclaiming identity and building a new life. This can take years. As a psychologist, I guide clients through cognitive restructuring and mindfulness-based strategies to rewrite their narrative from victimhood to empowerment.

In closing, divorce is a profound psychological journey. It’s certainly not just a legal transaction. By recognizing Bohannon’s six stages and seeking professional guidance, individuals can reduce conflict, improve this difficult emotional process, and create healthier futures for themselves and their families.

References:

• Amato, P. R. (2010). Research on Divorce: Continuing Trends and New Developments. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 650–666.

• Kelly, J. B., & Emery, R. E. (2003). Children’s Adjustment Following Divorce: Risk and Resilience Perspectives. Family Relations, 52(4), 352–362.

• Bohannon, P. (1970). Divorce and After. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.