How often to men and women think about sex

December 18th, 2019

Posted by: Dr. Justin D'Arienzo, Psy.D., ABPP


How often do men and women think about sex? Dr. D’Arienzo, Board Certified Psychologist and Relationship Expert here. As you can imagine, sex is a frequent topic for couples. Usually it’s about one wanting more and the other wanting less. Pop culture suggests men think about sex every seven seconds, but I felt that was over the top and would be a bit exhausting even for the most vigorous males, so I did some digging and found a relevant study in the Journal of Sex Research from 2012.

Here is actual data about the frequency of sexual thoughts. The study’s results debunked the notion that men think about sex every seven seconds as that would amass to 8000 sexual thoughts during waking hours. When we are talking about sex, we have to throw some food in there too especially with males. The researchers found that men think about sex 19 times a day and food a close second at 18 times a day. I hate to bring up strip clubs again, but there is a reason that they advertise that they have the best burgers in town. Women think about sex and food less. They think about sex 10 times a day and food 15 times a day. There seemed to be a couple of sexual overachievers in the study too. One male tallied 388 and one female tallied 140 sexual thoughts in a single day. The study also showed that men think about sleep 2.5 more times a day than women.

So how does this research apply? First, Men are definitely the needier gender when it comes to sex and other biological drives, but they are not as sex crazed as pop culture would suggest. Personally, I have a sense of relief that my wife thinks about sex at least half the amount of time that I do so I’ve got to be better at timing. Also, for the female viewers, a better excuse than a headache or pretending to sleep would be sending him to the kitchen for some leftovers, as men, as you now know, think about food about as much as sex. Stay tuned for future videos about how often you should be having sex and how to better get your partner in the mood. Thanks for listening. Good luck in your relationships.

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