Originally published November 29, 2022. Last updated September 2026.
How Not To F*ck Up Your Life – One Week at a Time
I talk a lot about relationships on TikTok because some of the questions people struggle with are actually pretty simple once we say them out loud. Here are a few of my thoughts on breaks, breakups, infidelity, and knowing when a relationship has run its course.
Break or Broken Up?
Be bold and talk to your partner about what going “on a break” actually means before it happens.
If you’re on a break, are you broken up? Guys, I get this question all the time. If you’re the one who wants the break, sometimes it is because you want the freedom to explore something or somebody else. But what if you’re the one being left behind and you’re still being loyal?
Before taking any kind of break, have the loyalty conversation. Are you allowed to date other people? Have sex with other people? Talk to an ex? How long is the break? Don’t assume you both mean the same thing.
My view is that if you have officially ended the relationship—even temporarily—you should not assume exclusivity unless both people have explicitly agreed to it.
Break or Breakup: Is There a Difference?
Get on the same page, especially if you hope to get back together.
How Common Is Infidelity?
Infidelity is common enough that I have dealt with it throughout my career working with couples, but exact rates depend heavily on how cheating is defined and who is surveyed. National survey data have generally found that a meaningful minority of married adults report having had sex outside their marriage.
Cheating can end a relationship, but it does not always have to. Some couples stay together because of children, history, finances, commitment, or because both partners genuinely want to repair the relationship.
Every relationship is different, so I don’t tell people automatically to stay or leave. But I do have two rules I come back to: one event does not necessarily define someone’s entire character, and be very careful about repeatedly forgiving someone who repeatedly betrays you.
Learn More About Infidelity and Relationship Recovery
Sometimes You Should Consider It a Win
Sometimes relationships run their course and that’s okay.
Not every relationship that ends was a failure. Sometimes the relationship taught you something, helped you grow, or simply belonged to a particular period of your life. Knowing when to stop trying can be just as important as knowing when to fight for a relationship.
About Dr. Justin D’Arienzo
I am Dr. Justin D’Arienzo, Psy.D., MSCP, ABPP, a board-certified clinical psychologist, relationship expert, author, and media personality. I have worked with couples and relationship problems for more than two decades and regularly discuss relationships, infidelity, marriage, divorce, and human behavior through television, podcasts, social media, and The Dr. D’Arienzo Show.
I also have advanced postdoctoral training in clinical psychopharmacology and medical psychology, which gives me a broader understanding of how medications, sleep, hormones, substance use, medical conditions, and other biological factors can interact with mood, behavior, sexuality, and relationships.
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