Inside Look On a Minnesota Premarital Education Course

Posted by: Dr. Justin D'Arienzo, Psy.D., ABPP

Minnesota Premarital Education Inside Look

A Positive Lens

Though we already know that a positive attitude can improve one’s reactions to life in general, research has found that those with a “positive lens”, or positive perspective, toward their partner creates a substantial positive difference in their relationship for the better. With a steady positive attitude, partners typically give their partner the benefit of the doubt when their spouse or partner makes a mistake. And when their partner does something pleasing, the partner on the receiving end sees this behavior as confirmation that their partner is a great person.

Those with a “negative lens”, or a negative perspective, regularly experience hurt, misunderstanding, anger, disappointment, unjust accusations, frustration, and personal attacks. This results in thoughts of leaving, getting even, or protecting themselves. Developing a negative lens leads to a downhill slide within a relationship. With a negative lens, once one’s partner acts unjustly or inappropriate, one views this as confirmation that their partner is not trustworthy or not right for them.

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