Posted by: Dr. Justin D'Arienzo, Psy.D., ABPP
Improve Your Love Life
Improve Your Love Life
February 8, 2022
Sex. It’s just like money. If you don’t have enough of it in your relationship, you’re really unhappy. What’s really interesting about sex, though, is researchers used to think more of it would lead to greater happiness. In reality, you will max out at happiness at a certain level – just like money. Research shows that as long as you’re doing it once a week, it wouldn’t matter if you were doing it four times a week, you’re at the same level of happiness.
There’s something wild about sex – something truly magical. It certainly creates this cascade of biochemical reactions and bonds you closer. That’s why most couples who aren’t having enough sex feel more distant towards one another. It is also so healing – especially after a fight.
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I am going to talk about five relationship hacks that will likely lead to you improving your love life … and more specifically, your sex life.
Do something exciting. There’s a lot of research that shows if you’re able to increase your adrenaline when your relationship is forming or even after it’s established, you will be more attracted to each other. I have a great story to go along with this concept. When I was first dating my wife, she took me skydiving for my 30th birthday. We jumped out of the plane together and I kid you not, we were engaged two months later. With that said, you do not have to book a skydiving adventure with your significant other on Valentine’s – just try to do something exciting that boosts your adrenaline.
Do something extraordinary. Because we have a scarcity of time, we often think we have to do something extra extraordinary – like traveling to a different country – but you don’t necessarily have to do that as long as the two of you have special time together and connect deeper. That can be an extraordinary experience.
Feeling like you’re wanted is extremely important – so much so that it’s actually a natural aphrodisiac. I spend a lot of time counseling couples after an affair and the person who cheated usually feels like they weren’t wanted by their partner anymore. You have to make sure your partner feels wanted. They will naturally be more attracted to you and meet your needs.
Being wanted goes hand in hand with having a partner that gets you. I really want you to focus on truly understanding your partner’s needs, wants and desires. How do you do this? You mirror your partner. You make good eye contact, listen to them, reflect what they say and be in the moment. That’s one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner this Valentine’s Day.
Make sure you are providing safety and security. Your partner needs to know that you only want them and they are completely safe in the relationship. This allows both of you to be more vulnerable and feel more connected to each other.
If you follow these hacks, it’s going to lead to a better relationship … and in turn, a better sex life. I challenge you this Valentine’s Day to be bold and have sex!
If you need help from an expert, contact D’Arienzo Psychology at (904) 379 – 8094. We have five highly qualified relationship experts that can assist couples in various ways.