Are you Devoting Enough Time to Your Marriage?

Posted by: Dr. Justin D'Arienzo, Psy.D., ABPP

Are you Devoting Enough Time to Your Marriage?

MarriageWork, childcare, cooking, housework, sleep. Something missing from your daily schedule? Maybe it’s your marriage. Maintaining a healthy marriage isn’t just about getting along, it’s about enjoying your time together. If you’re feeling more and more distant from your spouse, it could be time to put marriage back on the schedule. Here are some tips to help you set aside and enjoy time with your spouse.

Set a Schedule

Couples who wait for the mood to strike will often find that time for the marriage gets left off the day’s agenda. The best way to both evaluate the time you spend on your marriage and ensure that you’re spending enough time together is to set a schedule. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it should help you both visual how your time in the marriage is spent.  Work, childcare and other important chores will have to be scheduled, as well as other family activities. Setting marriage time together on a written schedule gives it added importance and can help you begin to evaluate how much time you can, and should, be spending together.

Identify Priorities

Before trying to schedule time with your spouse, identify some priorities that help meet the needs of your relationship. Sometimes couples need more time to communicate or more intimate time together or sometimes just need to have more fun. Scheduling a date night will help keep the romance alive, but even just something as simple as watching a movie together on the house or going for a walk around the block can help improve the quality of the marriage. But make sure that whatever your prioritize, it’s time spent something that you both enjoy doing together.

Set Goals and Plans

Once you’ve evaluated your time and your priorities, figure out what you want to get out of it. If attending religious service is a priority, set a goal to attend once a week. If you both enjoy gardening, make a plan for a new backyard garden with a goal of having fresh tomatoes this summer. If there’s a common goal that you both want to see fulfilled, scheduling time togher becomes not only easier, but often more fun as well.

Work with Children and Family

It is important that other parts of your family are supportive of your efforts to make time for your marriage. Your kids may not like the babysitter, but if they prevent you from having date nights and time together,  they could be making the problems worse. Often family and friends are happy to help overworked couples get a night off for their marriage, so don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

If there doesn’t seem to be enough time in your marriage, counseling can often help couples reevaluate their priorities and set their schedule.  For couples in North Florida, the D’Arienzo Psychological Group offers expert counseling and advice that can help make your marriage as strong as ever.