Positive Lens Florida Premarital Course

Posted by: Dr. Justin D'Arienzo, Psy.D., ABPP

2. A Positive Lens: Just like we know that a positive attitude can improve one’s reactions to life in general, research has found that those with a “positive lens”, or positive perspective, toward their partner created a substantial positive difference in their relationship toward the positive compared to those with a negative lens or negative perspective. With a steady positive attitude, partners typically give their partner the benefit of the doubt when their spouse or partner makes a mistake. And when their partner does something pleasing, the partner on the receiving end sees this behavior as confirmation that their partner is a great person. On the other hand, couples who regularly experienced hurt, misunderstanding, anger, disappointment, unjust accusations, frustration, and personal attacks develop a negative lens. This results in thoughts of leaving, getting even, or protecting themselves. Developing a negative lens leads to a downhill slide in a relationship. With a negative lens, once one’s partner acts unjustly or inappropriate, one views this as confirmation that their partner is not trustworthy or not right for them.